Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Today I Chased a Bat out of the Garage

Today I chased a bat out of the garage. I don't know if it was one of those bats that gets all tangled up in your hair, or if it was the rabies-carrying type of bat, or if it was the kind of bat that transforms into a vampire and seduces your wife, sucks her blood and leads her into the eternal torment of the waking damned. All I know is that the bat was in the garage, and seemed to be in a supreme state of agitation.

Twice the bat swooped at my head, and twice I ducked. Its eyes, like pools of fire, blazed with menace, fear and madness. I did not panic. Calmly I told Alex that there was a bat in the garage and then proceeded to open the garage door. The bat was no dummy. It circled a few more times before flitting into the night, at last vanishing in undulating flight back to from whence it came.

I know not what its purpose was in our garage, whether it sought shelter or food or a warm place to nest. I do know that its presence touched me in ways I've yet to understand. It seems silly to slap a name on such a filth-ridden creature of mystery, but if I had to, I think I would call it DeVonn.

Fly on, oh creature of the night. Sup on moonlight and bugs and remain ever the leather-winged harbinger of pestilence and woe.



Anonymous said...

I just wanted you to know that I just ate a sandwich with an un-godly amount of mayonnaise on it and it was scrumptious!

Kid Shay said...

Perhaps it was sent by Batman as your first warning. Next time he'll beat you up and send you to Arkham where you can think about your crimes against humanity.

Anonymous said...

Had to laugh...we've got one in our garage and your humor at the bat you had was comical. My husband needed to know if he should chase it or just open the doors and let it fly freely and that is when we stumbled on your blog. Thanks for the laugh!

McBone said...

Hey, thank YOU, anonymous, for stopping by. Come back anytime.