Thursday, February 26, 2009

Here's What Happens To Crap Technology 'Round Here

These are the shattered remains of the disk drive from my Dell Inspiron laptop. My D drive started malfunctioning about 3 minutes after the warranty ran out on this $1,500 machine, and I haven't been able to play a DVD since. This is no coincidence. It's called planned obsolescence, a science that the manufacturers of things practice in order to fuck their consumers over and over again while they squeal and feed at troughs filled with our hard earned dollars. For the three years that I've owned my Dell, it worked properly for about 6 months.

So, after this initial malfunction, every other feature of the drive (disk burning, file reading) has incrementally deteriorated. Tonight, while merely trying to play a brand new CD, the drive immediately began to skip. I did not blame the disk. Instead I calmly yanked the drive out of my computer, laid it on the kitchen floor, and smashed it into a million pieces. While the hammer landed over and over with extreme force, I imagined that the head of a Dell executive was my target, and CEO brains, not bits of plastic, were flying about, coating all the surfaces of my kitchen.

Contempt for the consumer is why you see three asshole car companies flailing in desperation and begging for taxpayer money. If you screw your clientele often enough by selling them expensive products of inferior quality, eventually they will catch on. General Motors lost more than 30 billion dollars last year. Meanwhile, I happily drive my gas efficient Honda, which was bought used and has thus far given me no trouble whatsoever.

I'm not sure what to expect when I buy a Mac next month, but it can't be any worse than the experience I had with my Dell, which, like the D drive, is soon to meet the wrath of my hammer.



Anonymous said...

Being a former Dell Inspiron user, I can completely relate. Somehow, that laptop had the keen sense to crash on the week of my Master's thesis for Naropa W&P being due. (I know longer call it Murphy's law, but Dell's law).

Now, my mantra is:

"Once you go never go back..."


Anonymous said...

MACs are overpriced status symbols that you can't run anything on except iTunes

Nate and Jeff Bowler, Co-Captains said...

Yeah, and Alex's Inspiron has had an equally glorious run. What garbage computers.

Hey, Anonymous, I'd settle for iTunes running correctly at this point.


Anonymous said...

You can't right click on a mac

Kid Shay said...

My Mac is the best computer I've ever owned. Good luck to you, Nate. And good riddance, Dell.

And yes, you can right click if you keep your PC mouse. I right click all day long, if I feel like it.

Andrew said...

Ooo, I am thinking of coming into the Light shortly (a Mac). Mostly as a place just to do my writing. Will keep a desktop pc. However, I keep getting put off by Mac users, who seem either sanity-immune zealots or right wankers (or both).

I do like Sony Vaio, has to be said ...

Mike Strum said...

Try a Lenovo T500. My old Dell Inspiron 1150 is now a doorstop.

Nate and Jeff Bowler, Co-Captains said...

Mike Strum!

How are you, old pal?

That's the best use for a Dell I can think of.